Thursday, April 30, 2015

180 to 360: The (un)Transformation Story

I have thought about writing this post for weeks.  And I struggled and still am struggling getting words to form sentences that will make sense to anyone who is not in my head.  But, It is important that I tell you about my 360* transformation.

In 2012, I made lifestyle changes to lose weight and improve my health.  I weighed 208 pounds.  I worked hard to slowly improve the lifestyle of me and then my family.  I got down to 147 pounds.  I had made a complete 180* transformation with my health and lifestyle.  I was very strategic in making one lifestyle change at a time.  I would work on it for a couple of weeks and incorporate or layer in something else.

Today, I weigh 181 pounds.  Seriously, what the fudge happened?  How did I get back to where I almost started?  (Now, you are questioning my street cred.  Trust me, I have been, too.)

I noticed my scale creeping up.  My clothes weren't fitting anymore.  Seriously, what the fudge happened?  The answer isn't profound.  I don't have an underlying physical health issue causing me to gain weight.  I stopped meal planning and prepping.  I stopped exercising.  I stopped feeling like I had control over my life.  Yes, I know that I do not need to control every single detail of my life. 

The pictures above you thing should be swapped, but they are in chronological order.  The one on the left is 2 years ago...and the one on the right about 3 weeks ago.


 Well, let's recap what happened since I hit my goal weight (150#): my marriage came to an end, I had to adjust to single parenting/co-parenting, I gave up my gym membership,  I moved, I started a new job, my divorce was finalized, and I ran into financial issues.  This all caused me to lose focus on my health, physically and mentally.

OK, so I had a lot going on...but that is no excuse.  And, I am very ashamed of myself, because I have always truly had the control my food, drink, and exercise.  You may think I am being hard on myself, but I am not.  I am not, because I am the one to blame for this transformation.  Just like I was responsible for losing 61 pounds.  No one told me what to eat or not eat and what exercises to do when I was losing weight.  That was all me.  No one forced me to stop meal planning and prepping or exercising.  Again, all me. 

About a year ago, I was talking to a friend about how I was gaining late.  She was quick to blame a friend who I had been hanging out with.  We would go out for a bite to eat and drinks about once a week. He never forced me to order fries or cocktails.  That was what I ordered. 

Recently, we were talking about it again.  She was quick to say that I am gaining because of my new love.  He has very little to do with the weight I have gained in the past two months.  If anything, he is encouraging and supportive of a healthy lifestyle, because that is his goal too.

So, what am I going to do to turn another 180*?  I am going to take back control.  First, the girls (my daughters) are going to have to suck up and eat what I make for meals.  We need to dial in the convenience foods (going out to eat and kiddie foods).  I need to plan and prep healthful meals for my family and me.  I need to exercise daily.  I have the tools through Beachbody to do this - support, encouragement, and health programs.  Just as I am a coach to others, I have a coach and a network of awesome coaches to help me.

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