Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The Overwhelm

Last week, I opened up about my struggle to get my head in the healthy lifestyle game.  This week, I did do better.  I spent time listening to my favorite personal development/growth podcasts and reflecting to understand what is really going on with me.  I realized that I am disconnected from myself.  I got to a mental place of where I am just getting through the day.   I know in order to move on from this island of mental funk, I need to reconnect myself with the April who lost 60 pounds before. 

I know I can't just jump in again with both feet.  I kept trying that, and getting the same results or worse.  My life was seeming really chaotic and full of obligations.  Obligations to my fulltime job, to my children, to my dog, to my friends, to my boyfriend, to fill in the blank.  I started putting myself on the back burner.  I am not doggin' on any of the above things.  I made the choice to prioritize my life in the way that I did, and it overwhelmed me. And, it feels good to understand how I was coping with the overwhelm.

Now, I really can't ignore the all of the crazy elements of my life.  I need my job.  My kids are not independent enough to not have me involved with their lives.  Until, my dog can open doors and feed and water herself; I have to be available for her as well.  My friends and boyfriend are understanding that I am juggling a lot.  My boyfriend is also a single parent, so he more than understands.  Then there are other things that keep coming up.  And, I need to come up with a plan on how I need to deal with them.

When I first saw Chalene Johnson through one of her infomercials (probably for TurboKick), I thought she was not my cup of tea.  I had known people who had success with her programs, and was reluctant to try them.  I once took a TurboKick class at the Y on accident.  The instructor for the class I intended to take was out, and the sub didn't know the routines for the format of said class.  I didn't die in TurboKick.  I wasn't running back to take the class anytime soon.  I heard people at the Y talk about how inspirational Chalene is and blah, blah, blah.  Then, I got PiYo.  (I miss PiYo...but more on that later)  It made me fall in love (not amore, but like/love).  She is so encouraging.  She teaches in a way that I don't feel like I am doing a DVD.  I feel like she is going to come out of the screen and reposition me if my form is bad.

I got PiYo when I signed on to be a BeachBody Coach.  I needed a program that was low impact, because I live in a second floor apartment.  I didn't want to disturb my neighbors with a lot of jumping around (cue House of Pain's "Jump Around").  Anyway, in my BeachBody coaching network, a lot of my fellow coaches were talking about Chalene's book, Push, her Podcast, and following her on social network.  They seemed to get a lot inspiration from this woman.  I submitted to peer pressure, and decided to check her out.  I started listening to her podcasts.

In several of her podcasts she talks about how she has designed her life.  How her life revolves around how she wants to feel.  My personal take, is that no one wants to feel overwhelmed.  Life happens and he get stuck on the hamster wheel.  We run and run and run and feel like we are going no where.  What kind of life is this?  My current lifestyle does not feel like I am fulfilling my purpose.  She encourages you to take a hard look at everything you are doing in your day.  Is what you are doing each day getting you closer to your goals?

  • Are my jobs getting me closer to my goals?  Yes and no.  I love my fulltime job.  The past two months have been challenging.  BeachBody got put on the back burner, but it is what is going to get me closer to my health goals and fulfill my "bucket" of helping others.
  • Do my children get me closer to my goals?  Of course they do, because they are my purpose; my drive.
  • Does Dazie get my closer to my goals?  Yes, she brings peace and comfort to my life.  When things get really cray-cray it is so relaxing to pet and snuggle her.  I do talk to her, and it is nice to vent with out feedback and advice from time to time.
  • Do my friends and boyfriend get me closer to my goals?  They do!  They are there cheering me on. 
  • Does the fill in the blank get me closer to my goals?  I would say, "Most of the time, no."  These are things I do out of obligation.  My dear friend asking me to do a 5K - yes that helps me get closer to my health and fitness goals. 
Since, the fill in the blank is not getting me closer to my goals, I will be doing that a lot less.  I need to prioritize myself.  I need to plan and work my plan.  My plan are the plans I used to make to support my goals - meal plan, work out plan, plan how I am going to spend my time, etc. 

OK, I know you noticed that I didn't mention anything about my family outside of my kiddos.  That is because that is nonnegotiable.  They live 2 1/2 or more hours away, and if I am with them - I am with them. 

Do you have the courage to jump off the hamster wheel and blaze your path?

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